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Go From Indifferent to Invested in your Marriage

Go From Indifferent to Invested in your Marriage

In the early days of dating your physical relationship has a powerful way of solidifying your new bond. But, as time passes life gets in the way and you might end up in a period with a lack of intimacy which can cause relationship problems. Or maybe the opposite is true, your broken relationship is causing the dry spell. Either way, you want to know how to bring passion back into your marriage before it’s too late.

The first thing you need to do is acknowledge that you do care. Pretending to not notice or be indifferent to the lack of sex is part of the problem. The good news is that there are simple ways to reignite the lost intimacy without ending up in marriage counseling or filing for divorce.

Here are my two cents about the always evolving sexual attraction and libido in a modern marriage. After fourteen years of marriage we’ve often been in a different place sexually and if you’re not careful those dry spells can go a long time.

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how to bring passion back into a marriage

Understanding the Roots of Passion Loss

When you find that the passion in your marriage has dimmed, you should take a close look at why. A common cause is the pursuer-distancer pattern. In this dynamic, one partner continually seeks closeness, while the other seeks space, leading to a frustrating cycle that can cool romantic feelings.

Another factor is neglecting personal growth. When you or your partner stop investing in personal development, it can create a gap in the relationship. Over time, feelings of intimacy may fade, giving way to routine and diminishing the excitement that once fueled your connection.

Communication breakdowns also contribute to a lack of passion. Without open dialogue, resentments build, and you may find yourself stuck in negative feelings and misunderstandings. It’s not just about talking but also about sharing your desires and understanding each other’s needs. By addressing these roots, you have a starting point for how to bring passion back into a marriage.

Reigniting Emotional Connection

Bringing passion back to your marriage hinges on deepening the emotional bond you share with your partner. Understand that emotional connection is the heart of intimacy, fueling both love and desire.

Communication and Understanding

Emotional connection thrives on open, honest communication. Here’s how you can enhance understanding in your relationship:

  • Active listening – Focus on what your partner is saying without planning your response. This fosters emotional attunement and the science of trust.
  • Vulnerability – By sharing your feelings openly, you invite your partner to connect deeply with you.
  • Love languages – Discover and speak your partner’s love language to meet their fundamental human needs in the way they feel it most.

Identifying and addressing your partner’s needs directly strengthens emotional intimacy, a crucial element in how to bring passion back into a marriage.

Self-Care and Individual Growth

To connect with someone else, you must first understand and care for yourself. Here’s a brief strategy:

  • Self-awareness – Reflect on your emotional triggers and responses regularly.
  • Taking Care of Yourself – Increasing physical activity is an excellent way to get in touch with your feminine energy or your husband to ignite his masculine energy.
  • Personal hobbies – Engage in activities that fulfill you outside the relationship, which can boost your positive emotions and make you more attractive to your partner.
  • Support – Encourage your partner’s individual pursuits, validating their aspirations and fostering a deep connection.

Relationship experts emphasize that personal happiness contributes immensely to the relationship’s overall well-being, rekindling that essential spark.

Reviving Physical Intimacy

In your quest to learn how to bring passion back into a marriage, reigniting the spark of physical intimacy plays a crucial role. Begin by enhancing your sexual intimacy. This can start with simple, deliberate increases in basic physical touch. Remember that small gestures as subtle as holding hands more often can pave the way for deeper physical affection.

Prioritize Physical Affection

  • Schedule Time for Intimacy – Life gets busy, but carving out time specifically for sexual activity can heighten anticipation and lead to a more fulfilling sex life.
  • Sensual Touch – Incorporate different forms of touch, such as massages or cuddling, to build sexual desire and arousal.

Enhance Sexual Arousal

  • Communicate Desires – Talk openly with your partner about likes, dislikes, and fantasies to better understand and act on each other’s desires.
  • Experiment Together – Introduce new things into your sexual relationship to keep things exciting and refreshing.

Encourage a Good Sexual Relationship

  • Understanding Responses – Learn and respond to each other’s physical cues for an empathetic and connected intimate relationship.
  • Release Bonding Hormones – Activities that lead to the release of bonding hormones, like oxytocin, such as longer hugs, can strengthen your emotional and romantic relationship.

Sometimes the best way to end the fight is to just make passionate love. Stop worrying about when the last time was and just get naked. The stories you have in your head about how next time will go are all just conjecture. 

Have sex, release the bonding hormone and then try to untangle why you were in a dry spell in the first place. When they say the best things in life are free, I’m pretty sure they mean tender touch and dirty sex with the person you love most in the world.

how to bring passion back into a marriage

New Experiences Together

Embarking on new experiences is a fantastic method for reigniting passion in your marriage. Experimenting with new activities can break the monotony of daily life, giving both of you something exciting to anticipate. Whether it’s learning a dance together or trying out a cooking class, shared learning is a powerful connector.

Changing up locations can do wonders for your relationship. Visiting new places together offers fresh perspectives and shared memories to cherish. Consider a spontaneous road trip or booking that cooking class in a neighboring town. Variety is the spice of life and a great way to maintain a passionate marriage.

Committing to a regular date night is a key strategy in learning how to bring passion back into a marriage. It’s not just about going out but also about the fun courting experience and prioritizing each other. By setting aside time solely for each other, you nurture the growth of intimacy and excitement. Even little things, like trying a new restaurant or a movie genre unlike your usual picks, can spark joy and intimacy, proving that new ways to engage with each other can keep the flames of passion alive.

Prioritizing Quality Time

Spending quality time together is essential in learning how to bring passion back into a marriage. To make the most of your time, focus on activities that both you and your spouse enjoy. Whether it’s revisiting your favorite music or engaging in hobbies, common interests serve as a bonding agent.

Revisit Memorable Moments

  • First date – Recall the excitement and what drew you together.
  • Good times – Share stories of happy occasions and relive them.

Create New Experiences

  • Explore new activities – Find things neither of you has tried before.
  • Alone time – Sometimes, just being together without distractions deepens the connection.

Aim to schedule different ways that allow you to reconnect without the pressures of daily life. Remember, quality trumps quantity. An hour of undivided attention is worth more than a day filled with distractions.

Turn off your devices during this time to ensure that you are fully present with each other. This gesture shows that prioritizing your long-term relationship over the noise of life is important for maintaining a happy marriage.

Regularly carving out space for each other is a significant step towards reigniting your marital passion. Before you know it your love story will be filled with X-rated stories that would make even a certified sex therapist blush.

how to bring passion back into a marriage

Exploring Intimate Communication

When seeking how to bring passion back into a marriage, intimate communication is vital. Begin by leaving love notes in unexpected places. This small gesture shows thoughtfulness and can reignite the spark of affection.

The Power of Words

Regularly express your feelings with words of affirmation. Your words have the power to strengthen your emotional connection. Tell your partner what you appreciate about them and acknowledge their efforts in the relationship.

Creating Intimate Moments

Plan times to connect without distractions. These intimate times are essential for deep conversations. It’s a good idea to create a comfortable space where both of you can share openly.

Achieving a Deeper Connection

Listen actively to your partner’s words and emotions for a better understanding of their needs. Encourage your partner to express themselves freely. This mutual exchange builds trust and revives intimacy.

how to bring passion back into a marriage

Maintaining a Balanced Relationship

In exploring how to bring passion back into a marriage, it’s pivotal to focus on nurturing a balanced relationship. Personal growth and shared joy are cornerstones of this balance. A relationship thrives when both partners engage in activities that bring them joy.

Cultivate Personal Growth

You both deserve to celebrate individual achievements and personal growth. Support each other’s aspirations and relish the good things in life. This individual fulfillment can spark a shared feeling of intense enthusiasm in your relationship.

Communicate Your Needs

Balancing your relationship entails addressing your own needs as well as your partner’s. Use ‘I’ statements to express your desires clearly and respectfully. In doing so, you encourage mutual understanding and prevent the pursuer-distancer pattern which can dampen the warmth you share.

Maintain Physical Health

A keen attention to physical health is essential. Embrace activities together that contribute to your wellbeing and vitality. This shared commitment not only enhances your health but can also reignite a deep, enthusiastic enjoyment of an activity done together.

Rekindling the Flame Together

Reigniting the flame in a long-standing partnership involves both dedication and heart. Your life partner isn’t just a cohabitant but potentially your best friend, confidante, and the love of your life. Recalling the fondness and admiration from the early phase of marriage can help strengthen bonds.

In the midst of daily routines and responsibilities, continuously prioritize emotional intimacy. This lays the foundation for a deeper, more fulfilling connection. Supporting your partner’s needs, listening actively, and expressing your emotions candidly pave the way to a rejuvenated relationship.

There are no surefire ways to bring back passion as each couple’s journey is unique. Yet, focusing on thoughtful gestures, quality time, and maintaining a friendly demeanor endows the efforts with warmth. At the end of the day, how to bring passion back into a marriage centers on mutual effort, understanding, and the persistent belief that your shared story is one worth revitalizing, not just a fairy tale.

FAQ: How to Bring Passion Back Into a Marriage


  • Veronica Hanson

    Veronica Hanson blogs from whatever country she happens to be in at the time, currently she's hanging out in Japan. She's been living as a nomad remote entrepreneur with her family since 2020.

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